What If Divorce Happens

A couple recently divorced. Their Divorce Decree stated that the husband would pay the balances on their three joint credit card accounts. Months later, after he neglected to pay off these accounts, all three creditors contacted the wife for payment. She referred them to the divorce decree, insisting that she was not responsible for the accounts. The creditors correctly stated that they were not parties to the decree and that the wife was still legally responsible for paying off the couple's joint accounts. She later found out that the late payments appeared on her credit report. You may want to look closely at issues involving credit if you've recently been through a divorce - or are contemplating one. Understanding the Different Kinds of credit accounts opened during a marriage may help show you the potential benefits and pitfalls of each. There are two types of credit accounts: individual and joint. You can permit authorized persons to use the account with either. When you apply for credit-whether a charge card or a mortgage loan - you'll be asked to select either an individual or a joint account. Individual Account The creditor considers your income, assets, and credit history. Whether you are married or single, you alone are responsible for paying off the debt. The account will appear on your credit report, and may appear on the credit report of any authorized user. If you live in a community property state (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, or Wisconsin) the individual debts of one spouse may appear on the credit report of the other. Advantages/Disadvantages If you're not employed outside the home, work part-time, or have a low-paying job, it may be difficult to demonstrate a strong financial picture without your spouse's income. But if you open an account in your name and are responsible, no one can negatively affect your credit record. Joint Account The income, financial assets, and credit history of you and your spouse are considerations for a joint account. No matter who handles the household bills, you and your spouse are responsible for seeing that debts are paid. A creditor who reports the credit history of a joint account to credit bureaus must report it in both names (if the account was opened after June 1, 1977). Advantages/Disadvantages: An application combining the financial resources of two people may present a stronger case to a creditor who is Granting a Loan or credit card. But because two people applied together for the credit, each is responsible for the debt. This rule continues to rule your credit score, even if a divorce decree assigns separate debt obligations to each spouse. Former spouses who run up bills and don't pay them can hurt their ex-partner's credit histories on jointly held accounts. Account Users If you open an individual account, you may authorize another person to use it. If you name your spouse as the authorized user, it will be reported in both of your names if the account was opened after June 1, 1977). A creditor also may report the credit history in the name of any other authorized user. Advantages/Disadvantages: User accounts often are opened for convenience. They benefit people who might not qualify for credit on their own, such as students or homemakers. While these people may use the account, you yourself are contractually liable for paying the debt. If you are Thinking About Divorce, examine the status of your credit accounts, because if you maintain joint accounts during this time, it's important to make regular payments so your credit record won't suffer. Remember that if there's an Outstanding Balance on a joint account, you and your spouse are responsible for it. Therefore, if divorce, you may want to close joint accounts or accounts in which your former spouse was an authorized user. You could also ask the creditor to Convert These Accounts to individual accounts. By law, a creditor cannot close a joint account because of a change in marital status, but can do so at the request of either spouse. A creditor also is not required to change joint accounts to individual accounts and could require you to reapply for credit on an individual basis and then, based on your new application, extend or deny you credit. In the case of a mortgage or home equity loan, a lender is likely to Require Refinancingto remove a spouse from the obligation.

Pizza

The pie is an ubiquitous symbol of both Italian cooking and Americana. Oven-baked, thin-crust or deep-dish, round or square, it is a common favorite throughout the United States, with a wide number of regional variations.

The most traditional pie is the pizza Napolitano, or Neapolitan pizza. Made of strong flour, the dough is often kneaded by hand and then rolled flat and thin without a rolling pin. The pizza is cooked in an extremely hot wood-fired stone oven for only sixty to ninety seconds, and is removed when it is soft and fragrant. Common varieties of Neapolitan pizza include marinara, made with tomato, olive oil, oregano, and garlic, and margherita, made with tomato, olive oil, fresh basil leaves, and mozzarella cheese.

New York was home to the first pizza parlor in the United States, opened in Little Italy in 1905 by Gennaro Lombardi. It is not surprising, then, that New York-style pizza dominates in the Northeastern part of the country. It is thin-crusted, and made with a thin layer of sauce and grated cheese. The dough is hand-tossed, making the pie large and thin. As a result, it is served cut into slices, traditionally eight, which are often eaten folded in half. It can be served with any number of toppings, including pepperoni, the most popular topping in the United States, or as a “white pizza”, which includes no tomato sauce and is made with a variety of cheeses, such as mozzarella and ricotta.

Chicago is also home to a major variety of pizza.The Chicago-style pizza is deep dish, meaning it is made in a pan with the crust formed up the sides, or even with two crusts and sauce between, a so-called “stuffed” pizza. The ingredients are “reversed” in a Chicago pizza, with cheese going in first, and then sauce on top. This particular form of pizza was invented in 1943 at Uno’s Pizzeria in the River North neighborhood of Chicago.

The Midwest also plays host to the St. Louis style pizza. This thin-crust delicacy is made using local provel cheese instead of mozzarella, and is very crispy. Heavily seasoned with oregano and other spices, with a slightly sweet sauce, it is difficult to fold because of the crust and is often cut into squares, instead of served in slices.

A Hawaiian pizza is an American invention that has nothing to do with Hawaii save that one of the main ingredients is pineapple. The pineapple is put atop the pizza, along with Canadian bacon, giving a rather sweet taste very different from pizzas closer to the Italian original. Hawaiian pizza is very common in the Western United States.

In fact, a number of esoteric pizzas are common on the West coast, and “gourmet” pizza is often referred to as “California-style” pizza. This is an example of fusion cuisine, and many of the pizzas go far beyond the common tomato sauce and cheese. Thai pizza, for example, can include bean sprouts and peanut sauce, while breakfast pizza, as the name implies, may be topped with bacon and scrambled eggs. As a “gourmet” food, California pizzas are often individual sized, serving two people at most, and are not cut in slices like other common types of pizza pie.

Pizza is as diverse as America itself, with almost infinite variations – all of them delicious.

Create A Romantic Evening At Home

You've decided to invite someone you're dating to your home for a romantic evening and you want everything to go well. Here are a few tips to help you achieve that result.

There are a number of factors you need to consider when planning your romantic evening:

1. Your Physical Surroundings

It's a good idea to make sure your house or apartment is clean and tidy. It may not be anyone's primary focus but it will make an impression on your guest, even if it's subliminal.

Spend a few hours doing the cleaning yourself, hire someone to do it for you, or, at the very least, shove all that clutter into your closets or under the bed. Wipe down surfaces to get rid of dust and stains.

Apart from the living and dining areas, there are two other rooms that need your attention:

a. The bathroom

Wipe down the sink/washbasin, tub and shower stall. Put a fresh cake of soap on the sink and hang fresh towels. At the very least your guest will use the bathroom to wash his or her hands so make sure it's a pleasant experience.

b. The bedroom

Get rid of any extraneous clutter like clothes strewn around the room or on the floor. Change the sheets, make the bed and wipe down any surfaces. If your guest ends up spending the night, you don't want him or her racing off for a tetanus shot in the morning.

To create a romantic atmosphere in your bedroom, have some scented candles on hand and an easy-to-reach sound system. You might also consider buying a quilt cover in a rich, romantic color and a set of sheets to match.


2. Your Choice Of Menu

While food can be an excellent means of seduction, it's a mistake to choose too complicated a menu unless you're an experienced cook and you don't get easily flustered.

Simple dishes like spaghetti or ratatouille make a tasty and satisfying meal without spiking your anxiety levels. The point is to enjoy the evening along with your guest, not treat the event like it's a university-entrance exam.

How To Avoid Psycho-Chef Syndrome

One trick is to prepare as much of the meal as possible beforehand so you're not rushing around like a pinball once your guest arrives.

Have all the ingredients chopped, diced and ready for cooking. Do this the night before or earlier that day, whatever works best for you.

Salad ingredients can be prepared earlier and stored in separate containers, then added to the salad bowl and dressed before serving.

You can even cheat by purchasing your meal from a favorite restaurant and having it delivered (or picking it up) before your guest arrives.

Definitely buy desert from your favorite bakery or supermarket, unless you're a wiz at whipping up a Pavlova or meringue. Another option is to prepare dessert the night before and reheat it if necessary when you're ready to serve it.


3. Your Cooking Area

Make sure your kitchen is clean before you begin cooking. Yes, you'll no doubt make a mess once you start but you don't want yesterday's dishes in the way. Your guest may offer to help so the kitchen needs to meet minimum health standards.

It's up to you whether you accept this help or not, but we recommend that you do, even if it's only a token effort like tossing the salad. Sharing cooking tasks can be a wonderfully romantic interaction as it creates a special kind of intimacy. Have you ever noticed how much more easily conversation flows when two people are doing a task, as opposed to sitting face to face?


4. Setting The Table

Set the table beforehand. Use a good tablecloth, your best silverware and a nice set of plates. Use your best glasses and an attractive salt and pepper set, milk jug and sugar bowl. Show your guest that you went to some trouble to make the meal a special occasion. This is not the time for melamine dishes or chipped or mismatched crockery. You're aiming for a touch of class.

Use candlesticks on the table for a romantic ambience, or place candles on other surfaces around the room.

Background music is a must but make sure it's romantic and subtle. Limit blaring rock and roll or rap to the period when you're preparing dinner, but please, no high-octane music while you're eating.

Set the sound at a low volume so it doesn't interfere with your conversation. And remember, if you don't play music during the meal you run the risk of filling any silences with the sound of people masticating.


5. Cleaning Up Later

Don't let your guest anywhere near the kitchen after the meal is over. Hopefully you'll have better things to do with your time together.

But all is not lost if they do insist on helping with the chores. Many a couple has fallen in love while doing the dishes, for two main reasons:

1. As mentioned earlier, there's the ease of conversation that takes place when you're doing a task rather than concentrating on talking.

2. Doing dishes together is like playing house. It can actually feel very romantic, especially when one or both people realize, "This is what I want with this person." You won't get the same effect if you use a dishwasher, so set aside at least a couple of pots, which will you allow to suggest, "I'll wash and you dry."

With a little forethought, anyone can create a romantic evening at home. The old cliché, "the way to a person's heart is through their stomach", has more than a little truth to it. Test it yourself with someone you care about. The least you'll get is a great home-cooked meal.

A Mediterranean Diet - How to Lose Weight Safely

If you are looking for a way to lose fifteen pounds in two weeks, a high protein diet, a low carb diet, a fruit diet, a no fat diet, a blood type diet, a juice fast, a diet named after a place in Miami, a grapefruit diet, a cactus diet, a coffee and cigarette diet, a diet that includes sweets, a diet based on your body type, a diet based on an ancient religion or a diet based on your hair color, then this article is NOT for you.

Fad and crash diets, such as the ones described above are not only unhealthy but they also cause rebound weight gain. Also most diets, even though diet gurus write them, cause an initial weight loss but the ultimate result is that you gain all of the weight back the minute you go off the plan. If you don't gain it back within a couple of diets, you are likely to gain it all back plus a bit more within a year.

Crash diets dehydrate you, low calorie diets put your body into starvation mode so you plateau so you can't lose one more pound and high protein diets stress your kidneys and clog your arteries.

So how does one lose weight?

There is only one answer to this question.

You need to expend more calories than you are taking in. Restricting certain foods, eating so-called fat burning foods, or dehydrating yourself with special pills or teas does not do it. It is simple math. The only way is to eat a little less and exercise a little more. Here is the equation below:

Eating Less + Exercising More = Weight Loss.

This is not a magical formula, it is just logic. It is also not a fast way to lose weight. As I have mentioned before, this is not an article about how to lose ten pounds in three days or 30 pounds in a month. It is about safe, healthy weight loss.

In order to lose weight quickly and safely and without putting yourself at risk for such health hazards as dehydration, kidney failure, malnutrition, exhaustion, nervous dysfunction, tooth loss, dull hair, wrinkles, cellulite, sudden heart failure or stroke and lose the weight so that it stays off, you should lose no more than approximately two pounds a week!

Although that might not sound like a large amount of weight to lose it actually is! If you lose 2 pounds a week that means you can achieve a weight loss of ten pounds a month! If you only have twenty pounds to lose then your weight loss is not only quite rapid, but you have the extra guarantee that it will stay off because you have followed a sensible exercise plan that did not involve starving, exhausting or depriving yourself. If you are willing to drop your impatience and desire for immediate gratification and stick to an exercise plan and healthy eating habits, then a Mediterranean Diet is for you. Remember being slim is only good if you are able to enjoy it!

Do You Need to Lose Weight?

Fascination with Fat

If you want to lose weight, you first need to assess whether you need to actually lose weight or are simply a fashion victim. Unfortunately this society is fascinated with fat - who has it and who doesn't. As we are persuaded by so many images in the media that persuade us to believe that you can never be too thin, many of us are bad judges of our actual body weight.

If you are under the age of eighteen and reading this book, the first thing you need to do is consult with your parent about your plans to lose weight. Have her make an appointment with a physician so that he can indicate to you whether or not you are a candidate for weight loss.

If you are an adult, it is possible that you may not be overweight and are just trying to be, as Bridget Jones put it in Bridget Jones Diary "a stick insect with eyelashes." It is also very possible that you know you need to lose weight but have no idea where to start.

If you are obese and you know it, then you have to check with a physician first to see how your health is before you embark on any exercise program or plan. The same is also true if you have any kind of medical condition but especially a thyroid condition or heart condition. Some physicians may not recommend a weight loss program for those who are over 40 as due to genetics and hormonal changes some people naturally just round out or gain weight in a way that simply cannot be changed. If your doctor tells you your spreading hips are due to menopause or genetics, believe him! It is not clever to fool with Mother Nature.

Is it Lust or Love -- How to Tell the Difference

Far too many people, both men and women alike, confuse lust for love. Physical attraction alone will not withstand the test of time in relationships. Physical attraction is an important factor but must never be the only factor you rely upon when choosing a mate. Many make the mistake of confusing lust and love and end up broken-hearted when the relationship doesn't last.

Perhaps you're wildly attracted to someone and thoughts of that person dominate your mind a good portion of the day and night. Perhaps you can't wait until the next time the two of you will be together again. When you are together you can't keep your hands off one another and when you're apart, you fantasize about the next time you can see one another. True love and lust are easily confused because they are so much alike.

As a rule of thumb, if you share few other interests and have nothing in common other than an overwhelming physical desire for one another...it may be lust. If you have nothing of real value to say to one another and have difficulty relating to one another outside the sexual arena...it may be lust. If you don't particularly enjoy one another's company unless you're having sex...it may be lust.

On the other hand, if your relationship is based on factors other than physical attraction and sex is not necessarily the number one priority...it may be love. Most long-term relationships are built on a strong friendship which turns into love over time. Having sex is not the driving force behind the relationship, but is a nice sideline to it.

There really is such a thing as "love at first sight". It happens to many people and the relationship may last for the rest of their lives. A budding relationship based on lust feels much the same as one which is truly "love at first sight". So how do you tell the difference?

Ask yourself the following questions. Read each question carefully and really think about it before answering. When answering, try to be as truthful as possible. If you can honestly and sincerely answer "yes" to all or nearly all of the questions, it may be safe to assume what you feel for the other person is actually love and not merely lust.

Keep in mind, these questions are quite general and are in no way a total and complete checklist.

1. Do you share similar ethics, values, and morals?

2. Do you find it easy to talk to one another and can you talk freely about almost anything?

3. Do you enjoy the time you spend with one another, regardless of the activity?

4. Do you enjoy even the most mundane activities when you are together, simply because you ARE together?

5. Do you have a genuine concern for the happiness, safety, and well-being of the other person?

6. Are you able to work out any differences you may have with this person to the satisfaction of both of you?

7. When disagreements arise, are you able to discuss them openly and frankly without losing your temper?

8. Do you find yourself longing for this person's presence in your life in terms other than a sexual relationship? In other words, do you feel a need simply to be with that person and spend time with them even without having sex?

9. Can you laugh together and at one another, share jokes, and generally have fun together?

10. Does spending time with this person make you feel good about yourself?

11. Does this person give you a heightened sense of self-confidence and vitality?

12. Can you look at this person even when they are at their worst in their physical appearance (such as when they are sick) and not feel repulsed?

13. Do you share a strong mutual respect for one another?

14. Are you willing and able to share both good times and bad with this person and work through life's ups and downs together as a team?

There is a very fine line between lust and love because the two of them are closely related. Being able to tell the difference can save you from wasting your time pursuing an unhealthy relationship which is doomed to eventual failure.

If your long-term goal is to seek out a partner with whom you can build a solid, lifetime commitment, knowing the difference between lust and love is an essential and vital skill you'll want to master. Learning to accept a relationship for what it really is can mean the difference between a broken heart and a happy, fulfilling, lifetime of bliss with your partner.

the male orgasm

In the past years sex has changed from the simple sex between couples either married, engagae or dating. It was just the simple forplay of touching and kissing of the lips and neck. Over the years it evelpved into more foreplay where men and women can find that sensual feeling from just the tongue and the fingers.It even changed in the way of not being something of true feelings and emotions and love. Now it is mainly about pleassure and ability to perform at your best. Now it is a simbol that is shown as an important aspect of every human being who know about the aspects of sex and also who have the ability of prforming this act.

In this century of sexually explicit ideas and products the simple orgasm was mainly intended for the female body. Where most products onthe market give rise to satisfying a woman's body. The human body has many different nerve points and the all are aroused in sexual acts. The feeling a woman gets when she has an orgasm.

Now in my own sexual encounters i am what u would call a blosoming rose of this sexuall influenced world. As a woman i speak for all womaen when i say having and orgasm is a feeling of utter satisfaction. The only way i can explain it to you is the feeling of every nerve in your body pulling at the same time which cause u to make that sunsual noise that turns a man on.

I have found the new wave of the woman's sexual ability it does not involve any sex but im tell u now this will revolutionise the hold woman will have over men. There is a spot i have found on the male body that can give him the feeling that women get when they are experiencing an orgasm. Bellow the stomach close to the hip bone use your tongue and lick jently, don't stop and he will experience the most devine feeling ever he will have no controll over anything not even to stop u. This i call the male orgasm.

Homosexual Dating

Homosexual dating has become much more widespread and accepted in Western culture, allowing both gays and lesbians the chance to reach out to one another beyond that of closed doors. Now there are many ways you can have a rewarding homosexual dating experience, so don’t be afraid to get out there and explore all of the potential relationships you can create at a wonderful same-sex communities.

Homosexuality is a form of love that needs not to be judged or explained, because it is just another example of how when you love someone it doesn’t matter what colour their skin is, how old they are, or even what sex they are. True love knows no boundaries, has no discriminations and only wishes to be shared with another who returns the same emotions.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with this idea of love, and due to this fact, many homosexuals, regardless if they are male or female, are made to feel alienated, which can often lead to feelings of depression or loneliness. There is no reason why you should let these feelings overcome you, or let other opinions of those you care about, such as family members or friends, negatively influence your life when it comes to finding love, relationships, and homosexual dating.

Homosexual dating is about finding someone who feels the same way you do, enjoys spending time with you, treats you with respect and makes you feel like an equal. It is about being apart of a relationship with mutual understanding, which has the potential to forge a strong connection between both you and your partner.

Like any dating experience, there will be certain setbacks and struggles that you may face during homosexual dating. This is only natural, simply because in order for you to connect with someone, it is important that you feel comfortable with them.

As a gay or lesbian, you should not feel that you need to grab any opportunity that comes your way. There is no harm in starting as friends and working slowly into the relationship to discover how much you have in common. As long as you are honest with your feelings, you should have no problem finding a partner.

Homosexual dating is how you can establish an amazing connection with someone who understands you, and loves you for who you are with no questions asked. Even though you will meet some people who are destined to give you a hard time with your sexual preference, all you can do is trust your own judgments, be true to yourself, and give your love and time to those who deserve it.

Dating Online - The new way to meet people

A lot has changed since the days of matchmaking and escorted evenings out. Dating in the 21st century has taken many turns, among these the emerging popularity of meeting partners online.

Online dating has many benefits. The shy dater can open up and get to know a person without having to deal with first-date jitters that often come from fear of the unknown. By the time he or she meets the potential paramour, they have already established a comfort level that allows the date to flow much more smoothly.

At the other end of the spectrum, social butterflies love online dating because of the number of fish in the sea. With so many people to choose from, booking several dates in a short amount of time is easy. Online dating allows you to be discreet, and it also enables you to be choosy. You choose partners based on common interests gleaned from dating profiles. This is an attractive alternative to approaching a potential mate in a bar going on looks alone.

As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself. Professional writers and photographers offer services to assist you with your dating profile. They hawk services to help you attract more hits to your online profile, which obviously helps lead to more dating options.

Dating websites vary. Some require a fee to enjoy certain benefits, such as the ability to post a picture or short video. Other dating sites offer free private e-mail accounts and access to thousands of profiles without paying a dime. When engaging in online dating, however, it is important to exercise caution.

Remember that anyone with Internet access has access to these sites. It is virtually impossible for dating sites to weed out the bad seeds; the online dater must take care in setting up dates with strangers. When first meeting face-to-face, choose a public place. Don't divulge too much information until you have a good idea of the person's character. Be careful not to tell too much too soon. With a responsible attitude and an open mind, online dating can be fun, safe, and exciting.

When is the best time to get pregnant?

The Luteal Phase or the Post Ovulation Time is the stretch of time between a woman's time of ovulation up to the first day of bleeding of the menstrual period. This is a relatively fixed time in nearly all women being around 14 days. The actual length of the Luteal Phase may vary by a day or so but for each individual woman it is usually exactly the same length each month. The average length of time of the Luteal Phase is 14 days, some women may have a luteal phase of 15 days and some of 13 but for most it is 14 days long.
The length of the Luteal Phase is constant even in women who have irregular periods. For those who experience irregular monthly cycles, the 'irregular' part is actually the time from the beginning of the cycle (1st day of bleeding) up until the time of ovulation. Once ovulated then the period is guaranteed to start some 13 to 15 days after as long as fertilisation hasn't occurred.

So when is the best time to get pregnant?

Well obviously at the time of ovulation. The egg will only last some 12 hours or so before is becomes incapable of fertilization. The Ideal conditions for getting pregnant are to have live sperm inside and waiting at the time of ovulation being as sperm can live on average 2 or 3 days inside the female body.

The trick therefore to becoming pregnant is to get to know your body and predict with as much exactitude as possible when you will start to ovulate so that you may have intercourse some hours before. Remember that repeated ejaculation on the male part will decrease the virility of the sperm.

The 'basic' way to know when you are about to ovulate, which will only really work with women who have regular cycles is the counting method. The cycle begins on the first day of bleeding. Counting from that day until the beginning of the next period will give you the total length of your menstrual cycle (normally about 28 days). Ovulation usually occurs between days 11 and 14.
If you are irregular with your periods then you should make a note of the length of your cycles over a few months and try and determine just how irregular you are and if possible work out an average length.

A very effective way to observe your cycle and discover your ovulation time is by using the basal body temperature method or BBT method. This entails using a special BBT thermometer which is calibrated in fractions of degrees. The vaginal temperature must be taken every morning (if possible at the same time each day and before daily activity begins.. ie before getting up). At the time of ovulation a notable rise in temperature is recorded. You will be able to observe from this the exact length of your luteal phase and you will notice just how regular it is (even for those with irregular periods) You will also get to realise the little signs and sensations that so subtly accompany ovulation. The disadvantage with this method is that it tells you when ovulation has occurred and the ideal conditions for getting pregnant as stated before are to have intercourse a few hours 'before' ovulation is due to occur.

Another way to predict ovulation is to observe the changes in texture of your cervical mucus. As the hormones within the female body fluctuate, so too does the texture of the cervical mucus changes. Normally it is thick and sticky, and when observed under a microscope appears to have of a sort of meshed fibre effect. Around ovulation time the mucus changes to be much thinner and clearer, this when viewed microscopically has a parallel fibre effect which actually aids the sperm to travel through the vagina by means of a basic and natural capillary action. The mucus will remain in this thin state for 2 or 3 days. This is the ideal time for conception.


A combination of all of the methods listed here should help you to get to know your cycle rhythm and learn just what your body is doing so that you may predict exactly when you are about to ovulate.

A guide to dating

People in long-term relationships, whether they are married or dating, often complain about getting into a rut. Your relationship may have started off with the great burst of passion and excitement but perhaps it began to wane because life is busy and work can where you out by the end of the day.

If you're in a dating relationship that seems to be in a rut, or wonder why you can't keep a long term relationship exciting anymore, perhaps you need to go back to the beginning. That doesn't mean you need to break up with your current partner and find someone new, it means you need to refresh the relationship with exciting and spontaneous activities.

When you look back on a period of your life, what is it that you remember? Is it the average day-in, day-out activities? Not likely. It is more likely those fun and spur-of-the-moment times when you did things that were hilarious or scary or new. That's what it means to go back to the beginning of a relationship, when everything you do is spontaneous and new.

Next time you and your girlfriend or boyfriend are deciding to do something on Friday, don't settle for dinner-and-a-movie. Do something different! Here are some ideas:

Play paintball
Rent a classic car
Go skydiving
Have a picnic

Or surprise your date with something spontaneous:

Start a water fight
Go for a romantic boat ride and tip the boat
Blindfold your date and take them somewhere they never been
Surprise your date at work just as they're finishing up for the day

Relationships fail for many reasons. One of the saddest reasons is that people simply drift apart because the other person doesn't excite them anymore. It doesn't have to be that you're your relationship, whether dating or married, can thrive when it is filled with adventures that the two of you share as you build memories together.

You'll look back on your time together with fondness as you consider the many fun and spontaneous things you did together. But doing those things is a choice. Choose to return to the beginning of your relationship and have fun again!

The Latest Trends In Cosmetics

The days of bright blue eye shadow and slathered on blush are gone with the wind! If you are in desperate need of a make up freshen up, consider these hot trends in cosmetics. These latest colors, tips, and techniques are just what anyone needs to update a look or make the change into a new season. Remember that your cosmetics do have an expiration date, so keep this in mind when shopping for new make up. With each season, carefully look through your make up kit and discard any items that are outdated. This is critical, especially with eye make up that can expire and potentially cause painful infections. Also, remember not to share your make up with anyone else to prevent spread of germs and infection.

Today's latest trends in cosmetics reflect the fashion trends-shimmer and shine! From super glossy lip gloss to candy like eye make up with glitter to make your eyes truly pop. This trend only applies to eyes, lips, and nails, however, since cream and matte finishes is hot for foundations, powders, and blush. In addition to shimmer and shine, the color of eye and lip make up is quite subtle. Gone are the vibrant colors and eye popping shades of eye shadow. Instead, pale browns, ivories, grays, tans, and other natural colors are all the rage. Lip shades are also a bit more subdued, with a nude lip or a sheer pink gloss being incredibly hot.

Lipstick is out today, with lip gloss taking over the first place in purses all over the country. These lip glosses are made in every color under the sun and many mimic the appearance of lipstick with a much smoother and glossier look. For individuals looking to care for their lips and enjoy that terrific nude lip look, consider using a simple hydrating stick. The all natural brand, Bert's Bees, produces a phenomenal product that can be applied under a gloss or used by itself.

The days of pressed powder may be numbered; as today's hot products include cream powders that go on thick but dries sheer and ultra light. This option is great for individuals who would like a bit more coverage than pressed powder offers, but do not want to deal with the mess and hassle of using foundation. Another popular trend along this line is the cream blush, which also goes on like a cream but dries a powder. Also, cream blushes prevent that unnatural coloring that appears on many women's cheeks.

Wedding Ceremonies – It’s all down to detail!

by: Elsie Gilbert

Wedding ceremonies are simply not what they used to be. Set patterns and traditional format ceremonies are making way for unique, well thought out wedding ceremonies that are tailored to the individual needs of the bride and groom. However, whatever type of wedding ceremony you chose, there are still some important considerations when planning picture-perfect wedding ceremonies.

Wedding Ceremonies – The Timing

Time of year is fundamental. Not everyone wants a summer wedding, although most brides and grooms tend to favor summertime wedding ceremonies, which means that popular venues are likely to be booked up, well in advance. If you are prepared to take a less traditional approach, in terms of dates and times, you may find that you have a much wider choice of venues.

These days, many wedding ceremonies take place in non-traditional locations such as beaches or even underwater! Whilst it may be easier to find availability for a more unusual venue, these specialist ceremonies are likely to be more expensive.

Another great way of securing the venue that you really want, at a cheap price, is to be flexible. Many locations now offer evening or mid-week wedding ceremonies, at a reduced price. Getting married at a non-traditional time is also likely to mean that other costs such as transport, accommodation and photography are cheaper. Overall, you can make substantial savings.

Wedding Vows

No two wedding ceremonies are the same and one of the best ways to add an individual touch, without going overboard, is to create your own vows. These need not be religious, and can often be more meaningful and a truer expression of love than a traditional, formulaic vow. Always check with the person conducting the ceremony, as there are still basic requirements in terms of what must be said and carried out to make the wedding legal.

Flowers and Music

It is the little touches that make wedding ceremonies special to the individuals involved. Never underestimate the effect that a few well chosen songs or unusual flower arrangements can have on your guests.

Try not to have a rigid idea about the type of flowers that you want. Remember, flowers are very seasonal, so it is always best to ask your florist for professional advice. Also bear in mind that the flowers you chose should complement whatever theme you are following. So, for example, if you are going for simplicity, stick to simple flowers that are classic and understated.

Always check with venues for wedding ceremonies what sorts of floral arrangements they can accommodate. Some venues will have limited space and may need to re-use the area very quickly, so will be unable to cope with large amounts of flowers. If flowers are important to you, remember to check with the wedding ceremonies’ venues BEFORE you book or, failing that, request that you are the last wedding of the day.

Thinking about the small things early on will make the big things happen, on the day!

Wedding Dresses – The Latest Trends!

by: Elsie Gilbert

Wedding dresses are such an opportunity for any bride to show their unique sense of style and to really make a fashion statement. Gone are the days of the plain ‘meringue’ style wedding dresses with a little cute well-placed bow; now we are daring to be different!

In fact, one of the latest trends is to offer wedding dresses that can be used again. Not only is this a great idea from a budget point of view, but it is also reflective of the simple lines that are part of the modern trend in wedding dresses. Arguably, this fashion is due to the ever increasing age of first time brides as well as the large number of second weddings.

Wedding Dresses for the Winter Wedding

Whenever we think about wedding dresses, we automatically think of a warm, summer’s day, with a crisp, wafting white dress to match. However, there is a growing trend towards winter weddings. Winter wedding dresses may not be pure white and are often the preferred choice for second time brides.

Trends in winter wedding dresses include deep red colored dresses or dresses that include a large amount of black. Another great idea is to include a fur collar, or long fake fur coat. If you love a touch of luxury and you want something a little different, then winter wedding dresses may just be the thing for you!

Wedding Dresses for the Summer Wedding

The key to summer wedding dresses, this year, is color. Many wedding dresses are now using substantial amounts of colored fabric to add a classic touch to an otherwise traditional white or cream dress.

Weddings are becoming much more sophisticated; generally, brides will select a theme that they will maintain throughout all aspects of their wedding. Wedding dresses must, of course, fit into this theme and as such colors and accessories are vital. Popular, seasonal colors for wedding dresses include lilac, pink, blue and yellow. Often, brides will choose a half-color theme where the bodice is colored or the skirt is colored, but the other half of the dress is kept in a plain cream or white.

Subtle is the name of the game with modern wedding dresses.

Wedding Dresses – Standing Out From the Crowd

Today, wedding dresses are all different; no-one wants to look the same as the next bride and, naturally, brides go to extreme lengths to make sure that they stand out from the crowd. Of course everyone wants to do so in a classy and not trashy way! It seems that individually designed wedding dresses are the way of the future. By commissioning a made to measure dress you can make sure that it fits perfectly, is exactly what you want and above all, is unique.

Wedding dresses are an expression of your personality, so don’t hold back; let your imagination run wild!

The 4 Secrets to Weight Loss Success the Diet Books Don't Te

Weight loss plans come in all shapes and sizes. Some are fad diets that are too restrictive to follow more than a couple of weeks, while others are provided by professionals that make customized plans for us. All of them give us some guidelines on what we should and shouldn't eat to ultimately reach our weight loss goals. No matter how many food plans we try, healthy or unhealthy, there are some fundamental things you must know in order to be successful in a weight loss program that, believe it or not, have nothing to do with food.

1. Readiness- Are you ready to make change in your life right now? How would you know? The reason many weight loss plans fail is because people are not truly emotionally ready for change. In order to have true lifelong weight loss you have to commit to trading your old habits in for a new, healthier lifestyle. This has more to do with readiness for change than a desire to shed pounds- there is a big difference. The good news is, as you start on the journey to change these old habits you will be amazed how much better you feel physically, psychologically, and emotionally. This is the place where the people who have experienced long term weight loss have entered and want to stay. When you are truly committed to changing your lifestyle you will achieve lifelong weight loss and so much more!

Ask yourself a few questions. Are you ready to make permanent dietary changes for you and your family? Are you ready to start exercising regularly? Are you ready to defend your new lifestyle changes to those who are undermining your efforts? Don't fret if you aren't completely ready to dive into change. This is the stage to keep up the learning process by reading articles and gathering information. You will know when the time is right and that will be when you answer an unequivocal "Yes!" to the above questions.

2. Developing a vision. When I ask people what their goals are for a weight loss program the answer is always, "to lose weight of course", or "to lose x amount of pounds". It is crucial to have another more, heart-felt reason to lose weight other than losing pounds and appearance. This is because when times are tough, and they will be during any change process, you will need a heart-felt or internal reason to lose the weight to keep you motivated. Losing weight for appearance is ok but it is an external reason and will not help to keep you motivated for long.

In the past my clients have chosen things like, being able to play with their kids, running a marathon, backpacking trip they have longed to go on for years, and a big motivator is often a health condition. I call this your vision. It is imperative to take a few minutes to learn what your vision is. What is important to you that you will be able to achieve with weight loss? Write this vision down and plaster it everywhere so you always see your end goal and it will always help to motivate you further when times are tough.

3. Self Talk - is yours negative or positive? Unfortunately it's true that we are our own worst critics and like hearing any critic it often leads us to failure because we believe the critic is right. Furthermore, we start to believe things are true that are absolutely not true. For instance, if a child is told they are a klutz from an early age they will likely always think they are a klutz. We believe what we are told repeatedly.

What do you tell yourself? One common statement I hear a lot of these days is, "I can't eat carbohydrates because once I start I can't stop". This is a belief that you have set up from constant defeating self-talk and once you believe it then no doubt you will act it out. However, there is no scientific reason why a person would not be able to stop eating after having a bite of carbohydrates. Your belief makes it your reality. So whenever you hear yourself say I can't do something or any other self-defeating talk. Stop yourself and change the sentence to a positive. For example, I realize that carbs have been a challenge for me in the past but I can eat a portion and put the rest away for later. Keep working on your own positive reinforcement by being gentler with yourself and tell yourself all that you CAN do.

4. Be prepared for change. All weight loss programs require us to change a habit yet no one warns us about the process of change. The first thing to know is that the beginning of change is difficult and uncomfortable. This is because it forces us to get off autopilot and focus on our new behaviors. Luckily it takes about 21 days to make a new habit and the uncomfortable part goes away and our new habits become autopilot.

For example: Imagine you get your dream job and it requires that you have to get up at 5:30am. Yikes! You normally get up at about 7:30 am. So, what do you think will happen that first morning when the alarm goes off at 5:30? You aren't going to feel so great and your body is going to beg you to get back into your warm bed! This will go on for about 2-3 weeks until your body stops fighting you and realizes this is the new habit. The same thing will happen to you when you change eating and exercise habits. Just expect a little resistance and keep going! Your new healthy changes will eventually become your new habit. You just have to keep at it.

Online Dating: 10 Critical Mistakes ALL People Make – Including You!

Online dating is fascinating.

You can meet thousands of available singles that are literally just a click away, seeking love, romance, dating, marriage, friendship – and yes, of course sex. Men and women alike join dating services hoping to make new friends and start new relationships.

But there are some common mistakes ALL people make when using Internet personals – including YOU!
Here are ten common mistakes all people make when dating online. Check out if you are guilty of some of them.

MISTAKE #1 - “Giving it a try”Most people start using online personals with the attitude “Let me give it a try and see where it goes”. They don’t really think they WILL meet someone – they only HOPE to meet someone. What is the difference? When you “hope” to succeed, you don’t try hard enough – if it works, great, if it does not work, fine, at least I’ve tried. When you think you “will” meet someone, and it does not work, you change something in your approach to online dating to get the results you want.
BOTTOM LINE: Don’t “give it a try” – do your best.

MISTAKE #2 - Hoping “the right person will find you”Most people don’t pay when post their profiles on online dating sites, which usually means they can receive letters but cannot answer ads of other members. They hope people will be writing to them. If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work for you. But if you are not, then you shouldn’t hope your dream partner would email you out of blue. You will get much better results if pay for premium membership to the dating site and write to people yourself.
BOTTOM LINE: Contact other people; don’t wait for them to contact you.

MISTAKE #3 - Sending one-linersIt’s amazing how many people using online personals send letters of the type “Hi, liked your profile, please see my profile”. If your photo does not impress the other person in an instant, most likely they will just delete your email. Some *might* actually read your profile – and if there is nothing in your profile that impresses them in an instant, then they will also just delete your email.
BOTTOM LINE: Write letters that have some substance in them.

MISTAKE #4 - Sending form lettersI always know when I receive a form letter - always! I am sure you know it too. If there are no personal references in the letter, I know this letter was not written specially for me. No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants to be special!
BOTTOM LINE: Write individual letters for each person you contact.

MISTAKE #5 - Writing boring lettersMany people are guilty of this one. They write about things they want to say and not what the other person wants to hear.The result: letters that are plain BORING.Remember: it’s not about YOU – it’s about THEM! Tell them what you liked about their profile so much that you decided to write to them. Some things may be uncertain in their profiles – ask questions and guess the answers. For example, she ticked “Tell you later” in her profile about kids – if she did not have any kids, she would say so. Ask if she has kids and tell her you think she does and that you just love kiddies. A person who actually THINKS and what more – thinks ABOUT HER, it’s indeed something special, and your letter is sure to get noticed. Don’t talk much about yourself in your letter (she can always read your profile) - tell her why you think you will be the right guy for HER. If you do not fit her requirements 100%, tell her why it won’t be a problem. You pride yourself as having great sense of humor? Back up your claim – make her laugh! From the first line, your letter should grab her attention and she should not be able to stop reading till the end. THEN she will be certainly compelled to check your profile on the Internet personals website.
BOTTOM LINE: Write interesting letters – the type of letters you would like to receive.

MISTAKE #6 - Contacting dozens of members at onceOnce people pay for their premium membership to the online dating site, they tend to contact dozens of members at once. The reason for that is that they don’t hope to receive much response. STOP for a minute: what are you actually looking for? Most of us are interested to start a relationship with someone special. In fact, all you need is only one person – but the one who is RIGHT for you. Do you really want to correspond with 50 people at a time? Spend more time reading profiles on the site, and then select a precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make sure you get responses from your favorites before contacting other people.
BOTTOM LINE: Don’t contact dozens of people at once – concentrate on the ones you like the most.

MISTAKE #7 - Not following upLet’s face it: we live in a fast-paced world. We tell people “Let’s get together soon” and forget it in an instant. We send an email, never get a response and lose the contact forever. This is extremely important when using Internet personals: if you do not get a response, follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are waiting for an answer and you want to hear from them even if they are NOT interested. Having somebody who is really interested in you is not very common nowadays. This very fact may convince people to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If they are not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they are allowed to answer your email, and this is the reason why they did not respond. Check the rules of the website before assuming they are not interested.
BOTTOM LINE: Follow up. Make sure there are no technical problems averting your contact.

MISTAKE #8 - Not having a photo in your profileIf you don’t have a picture in your profile, you are missing out on people’s attention great deal. Many great singles, men and women alike, NEVER answer mails from members without photos – leave alone writing to them. If you are concerned about privacy, take a photo where you are in the distance and hardly recognizable, or put on sunglasses. Smiling broadly also changes your face.
BOTTOM LINE: Put a photo in your profile. This is proven to increase your chances up to 10 times.

MISTAKE #9 - Bad body language on the photosWhen people look at your photos, they try to figure out what kind of person you are. If you cross your arms of legs, or in any other way “cover” your body on the photos, placing a barrier between you and the viewer, you make them think you are timid, insecure and lack confidence. Use open body language - open palms, arms on the sides of your body – never “covering” it, smile and “look” the viewers in the eyes.
BOTTOM LINE: Check your body language – people make their opinion about your personality by looking at your photos.

MISTAKE #10 - Giving upYou’ve tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up: “Internet dating just doesn’t work for me”. That’s the biggest mistake of all. What you should do is to use your negative experience and learn WHY it did not work. Look at profiles of other people that attracted you and compare it with your own profile. Try to change your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile. Try to contact somebody you feel nothing about and see how it goes. Maybe you are just trying too hard? Treat your search for a partner as you would treat the search for a new job: if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check new listings every day and write to one person. See what works and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people. Just don’t give up!
BOTTOM LINE: Online dating works. All you need to do is to gain experience. Practice makes perfect. Your special person is waiting for you!

How to work with a difficult boss,

Well… A bad boss is a universal phenomenon. All of us at some point of time or other have faced the monster from hell that just loves twisting you round his tiny li’l finger and takes pleasure in trashing your hard day’s work right into the bin without any compunction! Phew... it’s a tough little world we all live in. Here are a few practical pointers that will help you not only in dealing with that tough taskmaster of a boss, but also maybe help you win him over!

Don’t judge him/her in haste. Call it the human tendency to gripe, but experience shows that people crib about their bosses just two days into their job! So if you are just into your job and are having problems coping with the Big B for inexplicable reasons, take a breather. Instead of rushing into conclusions, take time off to understand your boss and his/her working style. Giving yourself some time gives you some breathing space to settle into your job, get accustomed to the work environment and hit off a working relationship with your colleagues and more importantly, your boss. According to experts, 3 months is a good enough time. In an ideal world, by the end of the period you will end up realizing that your boss is not a bad soul after all!

Understand his/ her psyche. Yes. Apart from discharging your duties, being on a job also entails taking on the role of a psychologist. It pays to observe people, not the least your boss. Silently noticing your Boss and colleagues gives you a peek into their character. Pay more attention to your Boss’s conversations, his mannerisms, how he interacts with the rest of the team. Observing him will help you discover his likes and dislikes, pet interests and even weaknesses. If you are smart, you will know how to leverage this knowledge and develop good camaraderie between the two of you. You might gladly end up discovering that you share similar interests. So, the next time you feel like wringing your hair out in frustration, stop cribbing and starting observing!

Speak Up. Ok so you have grinned and borne your boss. Observed him to get to know him, have tried every thing to get him to like you, yet he continues with his boorish behavior. Then it is time to have some frank speak with him/ her. Put your concerns out in the open. Tell them frankly what it is about their behavior that is discouraging you. If your boss is considerate, he might take efforts to change his behavior. But if he refuses to back off and regret his misgivings, go on and talk to the HR and other higher ups in your company to come out with a solution. According to industry experts, talking out sometimes helps clear the air and gives your boss an opportunity to correct himself. Standing up to him will show you in a new light, as someone who is confident and fearless. It may, with the right boss earn you some brownie points a la good commendation and better prospects for promotions.

Vent your woes to willing ears! Can’t handle the stress anymore? Then go ahead and vent your woes about your unfortunate situation with your colleagues, friends, and family - well practically anyone who is willing to lend you a patient ear. As any amateur psychologist would say, bottling up your feelings will only end up stressing you out. While talking out will relieve you of tension and give you solace that you are not the only one afflicted with a bad sore-of a boss.

Cautionary advice: Have these sessions outside office and very far from your boss!! Don’t over do it. You may end up driving people away with your whining.

Nothing works? Get out! If you think you have given your best shot to live with that bully of a boss and he still ends up making your life a living hell? Then its time for you to pack your bags and scout for another job!

Women and Friendship; is it as good or better than Chocolate?

I’ll start this article by admitting that I am a full-blown “chocoholic.” I love the way eating a piece of chocolate makes me feel. It’s so indulging, satisfying, and to me is the ultimate reward or excuse to instantly lift my spirits, calm my nerves, and just make me happy. This lead me to thinking about how few things in life are as good or better than chocolate.

Now, I would certainly have to rank being a Mom at the top of the list, but another big contender is Friendship. I think it is truly disappointing that we as women allow something as rewarding and bittersweet as friendship, to regularly take a back seat to our careers, husbands, children and busy demands of life. When you compare eating a piece of chocolate to spending time with friends, you will find a lot of commonalities…

Friendship and Chocolate are both actually healthy for us.
Friendship and Chocolate both make us feel good.
Friendship and Chocolate can be addictive and both make us eager for more.

Did you know that researchers and scientists have suggested that chocolate contains compounds that can help maintain a healthy heart, good circulation, and reduce blood clotting? And, a Nurses study at Harvard Medical school found that women with friends were less likely to develop physical impairments as they aged.

I know for me personally, whether it’s a few minutes on the phone, a nice e-mail shared, lunch/dinner, or movie time spent with a friend, I am left feeling refreshed, happy, and ready to sing, “I feel like a Woman!” While I truly love being a Mom, I need friend time for me (even though half of it may be spent talking about the children anyway). It just feels great to spend time with my girlfriends to gab about everything under the sun, including love, relationships, finances, parenting, - and occasionally important topics like Brad Pitt!

Have you every noticed that when you do finally take the time to make that phone call to your friend, send that e-mail, or arrange that dinner or movie date, that you feel so good you automatically start planning for the next chat or get together. We do this because this needed interaction with our female friends just leaves us eager for more. This “feel good” addiction is similar to why we automatically eat more than one piece of chocolate in the box (and admit it, we rarely stop at just one).

I may be disqualified to judge what is truly better, friendships between women; or chocolate, since I admittedly confessed to being a “chocoholic”. After all, some of you reading this article may not even like chocolate. In my opinion they are both equally fabulous. However, I do want to say if ever you needed to slow down, and purposely make time for something in your life amongst your daily juggling of activities, then please do so for friendships. Finding “friendship” time needs to be a priority even if it is once a week or once a month, to catch up with old friends and to make new ones. It’s healthy, it makes you feel good, and you (we) deserve more of it.

Cheers to a happy, healthy, life shared with many great friends and of course a bit of chocolate!

7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild

7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild

by: Caterina Christakos

It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual. 1) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let's face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure. 2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight. 3) Don't talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right. 4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. Finally spray the same scented perfume in front of you and walk into the mist. Do this about 45 minutes before you see him. If you overpower him with your scent, instead of wanting to edge a bit closer he will be running for the nearest exit. 5) If you bring him back to your place make sure it is dimly lit. Soft lighting minimizes lines and wrinkles and gives your skin a bit of a glow. Keep candles handy or lamps that have adjustable lighting. In soft lighting you can be his dream woman and you can feel a thousand times better about undressing in front of him. 6) Do a strip tease for him. Now I am not talking about a ten dollar hooker strip tease. I mean a slow undressing. Have him lie on the bed to watch, as you slowly slip out of your dress, then your undies and finally your stockings and shoes. Make him wait a bit. 7)Explore his body in detail. Consider it a five course meal. Drive him absolutely wild by discovering all the hidden spots he didn't even know existed. Most women just lie there and let the guy do all the work. Participate and you have just blown past most of the women he has had sex with.

Love each other, and enjoy the ride.

Love each other, and enjoy the ride.

by: Lindsay Wincherauk

The world can be a very scary place. Everything seems to change on a daily basis. Uncertainty in every aspect of life surrounds us. We are all faced with one tragedy after another. On any particular day you can read about plane crashes, terrorism, crystal meth or whatever. You may be wondering; how does this affect love? The current divorce rate is nearing 50 per cent. Can you imagine the impact on the children? On one hand, no wonder relationships are struggling and the divorce rate is so high. We are living in a world of "me" time. Consumption is king. We all need to take a deep breath and slow down. Life is moving too fast. We need to get back to a day where we say "Hi" to our neighbours instead of fearing them. On the other hand, it's not all bad: I'm happy, in fact, I'm individually optimistic, yet, globally pessimistic. Can we change the course of things to come? I don't know. We've messed it up pretty bad. Just think about it for a moment. The family unit is in a state of crisis; the institution of marriage may be failing. C'mon, two drinking buddies getting married in Ontario? I suggest in the future for those of you walking down the aisle could you please uncross your fingers and take your tongue out of your cheek. You're only screwing up your kids and, in turn, our world. If everyone actually meant, "till death do us part," the divorce rate may only be 20 - 25 per cent resulting in: At least a 50 per cent reduction in unwanted children, in turn resulting in: A smaller global population, in turn resulting in: Less consumption, in turn resulting in: HOPE! Wait a second, if that was the equation. I might not exist. We have certainly left one messed up world for the next generation to try to fix. It's too bad that most of them come from broken homes. How are they going to fix the world, when they can't even fix themselves? My radical suggestions: Be aware of what is going on in "our" world. Look at yourself first and the people in your life who matter and to try to encourage, nurture and love. Turn off the news (except for 24 hours). Laugh, smile and cry from time to time. Have a blast. Treat others with kindness. Make your "moments" memorable. Don't have kids just for the sake of it - kids aren't puppies. Avoid confrontations: life is too short. And most important, remember to hug each other. We may not be able to fix the mess, however, we can have a blast during the ride.

Adultery as Sexual Addiction: Should You Stay Married?

by: Dr. Robert Huizenga

I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break Free From the Affair." One affair, "I Can't Say NO!" is characterized by addictive tendencies. Infidelity (as well as pornography, strip clubs, online chatting, compulsive masturbation, etc.) may be a part of the sexual addiction.

Often the spouse or partner of a sexually addicted person intuitively knows of the addiction and the struggle his/her partner has with the behavior.

The partner often "feels for" his/her partner and is in a great quandary about staying in the marriage or leaving the marriage.

If you are a person facing this dilemma or know of someone who is, here are some pointed questions to help move more quickly through the decision making process:

1. Do you really want to save the marriage or are you just plain worn out? Does it seem that it would be much easier to just put up and tolerate the crazy kind of behavior you bump into with him? Are you emotionally fried and think of confronting him with your feelings and thoughts of ending the marriage as jumping into more emotional turmoil?

2. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you think you should hang in there for religious, moral or other “should” reasons? Most spouses who partner with those who can’t say no are very conscientious people. Is that you? Do you want to do the right thing? Are you willing to continue feeling the humiliation and facing the dangers because you believe you should stay in the marriage? Do convictions rather than practical and personal concerns dictate your decisions?

3. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you believe you should stay to protect the children? Do you think you are the only spouse who can care for the children? (You may be.) Or maybe your spouse cares deeply for the children and is a good parent. (That may be also.) Do you think that ending the marriage would make life immeasurably worse for your children? Do you fear for their welfare if you confront his behavior?

4. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see absolutely no way out and are resigned to this marriage? You may experience a powerful pervasive feeling of being stuck. You may believe that you have tried everything and that it is in the best interest of everyone to stay where you are. Couple your weariness with your sense of being stuck and you may tolerate a great deal of disappointment and pain for the sake of the marriage.

5. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see yourself as incapable of getting out? Your self-esteem may be at rock bottom. You may think of yourself as incapable of starting over, incapable of starting a new relationship, incapable of making the transition to a new life and incapable of making decisions on your own. It is not unusual for the spouse of someone who can’t say no to lose her sense of dignity and self-respect as he attempts to control, intimidate and dictate.

6. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you need to protect him? Do you see beyond what is there to him basic emptiness and fear? It’s there and you know it? Perhaps you fear what might happen to him if you do indeed leave? Will he be able to cope? What destructive path might he take next? So you hang in there, aware of his underlying pain and hope some day it will be addressed.

7. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you live in the fear that if you talk about leaving you will face danger? Perhaps you might face violence? You might face the emotional game playing at a new level of intensity? Does it seem wiser to hold back, not confront, not move toward change for fear of what he might say or do? Do you sometimes feel frozen with fear?

8. Do you really want to save the marriage or have you given no thought to how you might start over? This is a little different than the fear of starting over. Perhaps your life has been so wrapped around his or the care of your children that you have given little, if any, thought to you. Have you thought of your desires, your skills, your dreams, your hopes and your future apart from him? Or, apart from your children?

Take some time to seriously and thoughtfully address these questions. Once you do, you may experience a new found freedom to act and move in new ways.

Sex, Love and Poly-Behavioral Addiction

Experts in the field of addictions are presently purporting that between 3 and 6 percent of the world’s population (193 to 386 million people) are presently affected by a sexual dependency or compulsivity (Carnes, 2005). Sexual dependency is a diagnosable and treatable disease, which today is generally, regarded in about the same way that alcoholism and drug addiction (chemical dependency) was regarded 40 years ago. Even so, there still exists a wide range of understandable misunderstandings about compulsive sexual acting out, created out of ignorance about the nature of sexual addiction, and supported and perpetuated by the multibillion dollar pornography industry.

Sexual Dependency - is a global term that covers a wide range of maladaptive and self-defeating behavior patterns and relationships such as:

1. Love Addiction – a disorder in which individuals repeatedly become involved in enmeshed, intense, codependent relationships, even when those relationships or partners are destructive;
2. Romance Addiction - a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with the intrigue and the pursuit of romance and thrive on the thrill of the chase, but find it impossible to sustain a committed, intimate relationship with another person;
3. Sexual Anorexia – a disorder in which individuals become dominated and obsessed with the emotional, physical, and mental task of avoiding sex; and
4. Sex Addiction – a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with sexually-related, compulsive self-defeating maladaptive behavior.

But can one really be addicted to love as the popular 80’s song proclaims? In a recent research study, (Aron, A. 2005) published in the June issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers used functional MRI to watch the real-time brain activity of 17 college students (10 women, seven men), all of whom were in the early weeks or months of new love. These researchers concluded that, love may vie for the same real estate in the brain as drug addiction. “Early love, rooted as it is in the caudate nucleus, is all about addiction.” "It is a drug addiction." "It's certainly got some of the main characteristics of drug addiction -- as with drugs, once you fall in love you need that person more and more, so much so that, after a while, you have to marry them. There are other things, too -- real dependence, personality changes, withdrawal symptoms." “And just like the need for cocaine or heroin, love can make people do crazy, sometimes dangerous things.” According to Aron (2005), the findings help explain instances where people fall in love with people they aren’t even sexually attracted to; or why others can feel equally strong, sudden emotion for a newborn child or even God.

So does this mean that all people who are newly in love have an addiction? Are all men who look at pornography addicted? Are all women who read romance novels addicted? Are all people who avoid sex considered sexual anorexics? No, no, no, and no. Then how can we differentiate between addiction and healthy relationships? Like other forms of addictive diseases and lifestyle disorders such as chemical dependency, pathological gambling, eating disorders, and religious addiction -

Sexual dependency is characterized by an addictive cycle of:

1. Obsession or preoccupation;
2. Ritualization;
3. Compulsive behaviors;
4. Loss of control and despair; and
5. Shame and guilt that perpetuates a maladaptive belief system of impaired thinking and unmanageability.

Typically, sexual addictive patterns are considered pathological problems when issues concerning sexual behaviors become the focus of life, causing feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment with related symptoms of depression and anxiety that cause significant maladaptive social and/ or occupational impairment in functioning. Addicts don’t use sex for affection or recreation, but for the management of anxiety and/ or emotional pain.

We must consider that some people develop dependencies on certain life-functioning activities such as sex that can be just as life threatening as drug addiction and just as socially and psychologically damaging as alcoholism.

Sexual addiction takes many forms with various levels of severity to include:
1. Controversial behaviors (obsessions with pornography, and sex with strangers to engaging in cyber-sex);
2. Unacceptable behaviors (exhibitionism, voyeurism, indecent phone calls); and
3. Profound Sex offender behaviors (rape, incest, and child molestation).

Though solitary forms of this addiction may not be overtly risky, they can be part of a pattern of distorted thinking and identity conflict that can escalate to involve harming the self and others. An example of a Sexual Disorder (NOS) or Not Otherwise Specified in the DSM-IV-TR, (2000) includes: distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by an individual only as things to be used. (It should be noted that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has never used the word “addiction” to describe any of its disorders).

The defining elements of this kind of addiction are its secrecy and escalating nature, often resulting in diminished judgment and self-control (Carnes, 1994).

Brief History of Sex Addiction

In 1976, a suburban hospital administrator asked Dr. Patrick Carnes to start an experimental program for chemically dependent families. The theoretical constructs of the program originated in general systems theory, especially as it applied to families and the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the many factors which stood out from a family perspective was that the addictive compulsivity had many forms other than alcohol and drug abuse including overeating, gambling, shoplifting, and sexuality. Members of groups like Overeaters Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous had already pioneered in applying the 12-steps to other addictions so the Family Renewal Center extended its programming based on the 12-steps, to sexual addiction.

In 1983, Dr. Patrick Carnes formally introduced the concept of sexual addiction to the world in a text entitled “Out of the Shadows.” Since then the field of sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior has developed dramatically. Terms such as addiction, compulsivity, hyper-sexuality, and “Don Juanism,” all have been used to describe what generically could be called "out of control sexual behavior." Regardless of its name, clinicians from all fields agree that a syndrome exists in which individuals have a sense that they have lost control over their sexual behavior.

According to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others. The fundamental nature of all addiction is the addicts' experience of helplessness and powerlessness over an obsessive-compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict may be out of control. They may experience extreme emotional pain and shame. They may repeatedly fail to control their behavior. They may suffer one or more of the following consequences of an unmanageable lifestyle: a deterioration of some or all supportive relationships; difficulties with work, financial troubles; and physical, mental, and/ or emotional exhaustion which sometimes leads to psychiatric problems and hospitalization. Addictions tend to arise from the same backgrounds: families with co-dependency including multiple addictions; lack of effective parenting; and other forms of physical, emotional and sexual trauma in childhood.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH, 2005) report that the symptoms of sexual compulsivity often accompany other addictive behaviors:

Alcohol and Drug Addiction – Alcohol and drugs alter libido, enhancing it early in drug addiction and inhibiting it later. There is a pattern in cocaine addiction of selling sexual favors for cocaine. As the cost of drug addiction increases, the drug addict usually can't afford the drug from ordinary job income, and must resort to (either/or) stealing, drug dealing or prostitution to support their habit. Alcohol and many drugs cause blackouts or amnesia during the drug using experience, and if sex is coupled with that drug using experience then the details of the sexual experience may not be remembered.

Food Addiction - Sexual anorexia or pathological self-denial of healthy sex is a frequent accompaniment of overeating and anorexia nervosa.

Pathological Gambling - The lifestyle of the gambler often includes hyper-sexuality, where both compulsions feed the false sense of self-esteem of the addict.

Religious Addiction - Compulsive religiosity sometimes accompanies sexual addiction as the sex addict is seeking religion to lessen guilt and shame. The beginnings of compulsive religiosity may signal the onset of a period of sexual anorexia.

Multiple Addictions

Since it is impossible to expect treatment for one addiction to be beneficial when other addictions co-exist, the initial therapeutic intervention for any addiction needs to include an assessment for other addictions. National surveys revealed that a very high correlation exists between sexual addiction and other substance abuse and behavioral addictions. Sexual addicts who have reported experiencing multiple addictions include sexual addiction and:
§ Chemical dependency (42%)
§ Eating disorder (38%)
§ Compulsive working (28%)
§ Compulsive spending (26%)
§ Compulsive gambling (5%)
Poor Prognosis

We have come to realize today more than any other time in history that the treatment of lifestyle diseases and addictions are often a difficult and frustrating task for all concerned. Repeated failures abound with all of the addictions, even with utilizing the most effective treatment strategies. But why do 47% of patients treated in private addiction treatment programs (for example) relapse within the first year following treatment (Gorski, T., 2001)? Have addiction specialists become conditioned to accept failure as the norm? There are many reasons for this poor prognosis. Some would proclaim that addictions are psychosomatically- induced and maintained in a semi-balanced force field of driving and restraining multidimensional forces. Others would say that failures are due simply to a lack of self-motivation or will power. Most would agree that lifestyle behavioral addictions are serious health risks that deserve our attention, but could it possibly be that patients with multiple addictions are being under diagnosed (with a single dependence) simply due to a lack of diagnostic tools and resources that are incapable of resolving the complexity of assessing and treating a patient with multiple addictions?

Diagnostic Delineation

Thus far, the DSM-IV-TR has not delineated a diagnosis for the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions. It has reserved the Poly-substance Dependence diagnosis for a person who is repeatedly using at least three groups of substances during the same 12-month period, but the criteria for this diagnosis do not involve any behavioral addiction symptoms. In the Psychological Factors Affecting Medical Condition’s section (DSM-IV-TR, 2000); maladaptive health behaviors (e.g., unsafe sexual practices, excessive alcohol, drug use, and over eating, etc.) may be listed on Axis I, only if they are significantly affecting the course of treatment of a medical or mental condition.

Since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning, it is no wonder that repeated rehabilitation failures and low success rates are the norm instead of the exception in the addictions field, when the latest DSM-IV-TR does not even include a diagnosis for multiple addictive behavioral disorders. Treatment clinics need to have a treatment planning system and referral network that is equipped to thoroughly assess multiple addictive and mental health disorders and related treatment needs and comprehensively provide education/ awareness, prevention strategy groups, and/ or specific addictions treatment services for individuals diagnosed with multiple addictions. Written treatment goals and objectives should be specified for each separate addiction and dimension of an individuals’ life, and the desired performance outcome or completion criteria should be specifically stated, behaviorally based (a visible activity), and measurable.

New Proposed Diagnosis

To assist in resolving the limited DSM-IV-TRs’ diagnostic capability, a multidimensional diagnosis of “Poly-behavioral Addiction,” is proposed for more accurate diagnosis leading to more effective treatment planning. This diagnosis encompasses the broadest category of addictive disorders that would include an individual manifesting a combination of substance abuse addictions, and other obsessively-compulsive behavioral addictive behavioral patterns to pathological gambling, religion, and/ or sex / pornography, etc.). Behavioral addictions are just as damaging - psychologically and socially as alcohol and drug abuse. They are comparative to other life-style diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease in their behavioral manifestations, their etiologies, and their resistance to treatments. They are progressive disorders that involve obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. They are also characterized by a preoccupation with a continuous or periodic loss of control, and continuous irrational behavior in spite of adverse consequences.

Poly-behavioral addiction would be described as a state of periodic or chronic physical, mental, emotional, cultural, sexual and/ or spiritual/ religious intoxication. These various types of intoxication are produced by repeated obsessive thoughts and compulsive practices involved in pathological relationships to any mood-altering substance, person, organization, belief system, and/ or activity. The individual has an overpowering desire, need or compulsion with the presence of a tendency to intensify their adherence to these practices, and evidence of phenomena of tolerance, abstinence and withdrawal, in which there is always physical and/ or psychic dependence on the effects of this pathological relationship. In addition, there is a 12 - month period in which an individual is pathologically involved with three or more behavioral and/ or substance use addictions simultaneously, but the criteria are not met for dependence for any one addiction in particular (Slobodzien, J., 2005). In essence, Poly-behavioral addiction is the synergistically integrated chronic dependence on multiple physiologically addictive substances and behaviors (e.g., using/ abusing substances - nicotine, alcohol, & drugs, and/or acting impulsively or obsessively compulsive in regards to gambling, food binging, sex, and/ or religion, etc.) simultaneously.

Conclusion

Considering the wide range of sexual behaviors in our world today, one should always take into account an individual’s ethnic, cultural, religious, and social background prior to making any clinical judgments, and it would be wise to not over-pathologize in this area of Sexual Dependency. However, since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning - poly-behavioral addiction needs to be identified to effectively treat the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions.

Since chronic lifestyle diseases and disorders such as diabetes, hypertension, alcoholism, drug and behavioral addictions cannot be cured, but only managed - how should we effectively manage poly-behavioral addiction?

The Addiction Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) is proposed utilizing a multidimensional integrative assessment, treatment planning, treatment progress, and treatment outcome measurement tracking system that facilitates rapid and accurate recognition and evaluation of an individual’s comprehensive life-functioning progress dimensions. The ARMS hypothesis purports that there is a multidimensional synergistically negative resistance that individual’s develop to any one form of treatment to a single dimension of their lives, because the effects of an individual’s addiction have dynamically interacted multi-dimensionally. Having the primary focus on one dimension is insufficient. Traditionally, addiction treatment programs have failed to accommodate for the multidimensional synergistically negative effects of an individual having multiple addictions, (e.g. nicotine, alcohol, and obesity, etc.). Behavioral addictions interact negatively with each other and with strategies to improve overall functioning. They tend to encourage the use of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs, help increase violence, decrease functional capacity, and promote social isolation. Most treatment theories today involve assessing other dimensions to identify dual diagnosis or co-morbidity diagnoses, or to assess contributing factors that may play a role in the individual’s primary addiction. The ARMS’ theory proclaims that a multidimensional treatment plan must be devised addressing the possible multiple addictions identified for each one of an individual’s life dimensions in addition to developing specific goals and objectives for each dimension.

Partnerships and coordination among service providers, government departments, and community organizations in providing addiction treatment programs are a necessity in addressing the multi-task solution to poly-behavioral addiction. I encourage you to support the addiction programs in America, and hope that the (ARMS) resources can assist you to personally fight the War on poly-behavioral addiction.

Sensations Of A Kiss

Sensations of a Kiss



Despite the relative tastelessness of kisses, they are usually referred to as
sweet. Tasting of wine, strawberries and honey are some of the most common
descriptions of lover’s kisses, although some poets are more creative. For
example, The Song of Songs says, "Thy lips drip as the honeycomb, my spouse:
Honey and milk are under thy tongue."

The feeling of a kiss is also described in a multitude of ways, The pounding of
the heart, quivering of the limbs, pain in the chest and quickening of the
breath are some examples of this. The Persian poet Ha-fez, writes that he fears
he will “char her delicate lips” when he writes of kissing his beloved.

The Spirit Within a Kiss



"At what else does that touching of lips aim but at a junction of souls?"

Favorinus of Arles



The Babylonian goddess of love, Ishtar, was said to hold life in her mouth,
offering spiritual delight to those who worshipped her. “That rarest gift, the
honeyed kiss of love/ On earth, is sweeter bliss than gods enjoy,” she tells one
of her followers.



Another example of the use of kisses as an exchange of life force or spirit is
in the Egyptian legend of Osiris and Isis. When Osiris’ jealous brother, Set,
threw him into the Nile, his wife Isis searched for his body in the river and
breathed life into him through a kiss.



The Renaissance saw a rapid rise in the view of kissing as an exchange of souls,
and as an offering of the self to the other person. Allusions to kissing in
poetry included an eternal kiss, a swoon that carried the couple almost to
death, and most importantly, the diffusion of one soul into the body of the
other.



Perhaps one of the most potent notions of kissing revolves around the belief in
its life force and vitality. The Romans particularly believed that kissing a
dying lover would keep the spirit in the body longer. Ovid, particularly, mourns
that his wife will not be able to extend his life with her love because of his
exile. Kisses could even follow the dead into the Underworld as a comfort to the
shades of the dead.

Relationship Advice: Follow Your Gut!

When people seek relationship advice from a trusted friend
or family member, it is most likely a waste of time, says
relationship author Justin Luyt.

"We ask for relationship advice often when we feel we do not have
the answers to our relationship challenges," Luyt says. "We grasp
for external wisdom, with the false belief that we do not know
the answers, but if we are being authentic to ourselves, we have
those answers."

Luyt recently published The Spirit of Romance, a book that offers
readers practical relationship advice and uses interactive
planning tools to not just change thoughts, but feelings and
behavior, too. Using the term "Spirit", Luyt defines the inner
source people must acknowledge before looking honestly inside
themselves instead of seeking relationship advice from others.

"We know why we are where we are in the relationship," Luyt
says, "but often avoid our own internal introspection. Spirit
challenges us to grow and learn."

He insists that by strengthening relationship with Spirit,
people can truly grow and move past the challenges at hand.

"When we ask for help from a friend, it is for an ear... not
guidance," he summarizes.

Throughout his book, Luyt offers a look at self-reflective
relationship advice, all based on Spirit, which allows people to
see others in their true light, as people filled with desires,
dreams and vulnerabilities.

Luyt writes people seek mutual personal and spiritual growth as
the basis for any relationship. His ideas of Spirit inspire
people too look within their core being to experience something
they can understand and feel completely. This acceptance of
Spirit negates the need for outside relationship advice when
people can answer the crucial questions with knowledge from
within.

When a relationship changes form or course, people have it within
their Spirit to redirect their energies from sensitivity and
vulnerability to spiritual strength. This strength gives people
the ability to become their own relationship advisors because
they have gained the insight necessary to overcome false doubts.

Luyt writes, "People are here to grow; and spiritual growth
occurs in a space of love, not fear."

Through his public speaking and counseling work, the South
African native has developed the Accelerated Romance Coaching
Program, a one-of-a-kind mentoring and coaching system for
singles and couples. Various Fortune 500 companies have used his
trans-continental engagingly fresh, out-of-the-box and into- reality approach for group seminars, training and coaching.

Yoga For Pregnant Women

Master your mind!
Gain control over your body!
Be relieved of your stress through the practice of gentle art of Yoga!

Pregnancy is a physical as well as mental experience. Women often becomes hyper aware of all the changes their bodies are going through. Yoga allows pregnant women to adapt to these changes more gracefully and to feel proud and a sense of appreciation for their bodies. Yoga exercises can increase flexibility, strength, circulation and balance. Many pregnant women find that regular yoga exercises help to reduce swelling, back and leg pain, and insomnia.

However, Yoga must be practised very carefully among pregnant women, as improper exercises will bring negative effect on both moms and babies. Here are some tips for pre-natal pregnancy Yoga practise:

1. The general yoga exercises are recommended for the first 2 months. You must consult your doctor and find very experienced Yoga teachers. With proper guidance, you can practice some yoga right into labor. If you new to yoga then you should start slowly.

2. Breathing exercises are beneficial if done twice a day. The breathing exercises provide more oxygen and energy both to the mother and the child.

3. Some yoga poses that can help a pregnant women dealing with the symptoms of pregnancy, ensuring smoother and easier delivery, and faster recovery after childbirth. Pregnant women should pay attention not to overstretch the body - the ligaments around the joints become loose and soft during pregnancy. The abdomen should stay relaxed at all times. Difficult and poses that put pressure on the abdomen and other should NOT be done during advance stages of Pregnancy. No any kind of pain or nausea should be felt during and/or after yoga. If this happens, you should stop yoga practise and contact your GP.

4. When carrying out standing poses with your heels to the wall or use a chair for support to avoid losing your balance and risking injury to both you and your baby.

5. Deep relaxation is crucial to give rest to body and mind, and you will benefit more from a good sleep. Deep relaxation helps the nerve system change from sympathetic to parasympathetic activity. Parasympathetic activity is associated with the restorative processes of the body, which is needed both by the pregnant woman and the child.

We also strongly recommend regular morning and evening walks. Yoga is very individual. For more great Yoga advice, and other pregnant women support services, e.g. domestic cleaning services, babysitter services, personal trainer, chef and many more great services just visit us at http://www.londonrate.com